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Bus Jokes

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Passenger: Does this bus go to Manchester?
Driver: No.
Passenger: But it says Manchester on the front.
Driver: There’s an advertisement for baked beans on the side, but we don’t sell them!!!

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Passenger: This bus was very slow!
Driver: Oh, I expect we’ll pick up speed now you’re getting off!!!

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Passenger:Does this bus stop at the river?
Driver: If it doesn’t there’ll be a very big splash.

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Q: What is a bus ?
A: A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it
as when you are in it.

Crazy Laws

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Ok so you may already know that,
In London, Hackney taxis must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.

But what about these other British laws?

It is illegal to be drunk in a pub or club, or any other licensed premises.

Oddly, it is illegal to consume a mince pie on Christmas Day.

In Hereford, you may not shoot a Welsh person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close.

However, in Chester you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.

Also in York, excluding Sundays, it is apparently legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow.

In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public unless they are a clerk in a tropical fish store.

It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full coat of armour.

**** Placing a postage stamp of the queen upside down, is also considered treason. ****

Truly a MAD WORLD !

Crazy Frog …….aaarrggghhhh!!!!

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This is an E-mail i received 25th May 2005.

Dear Ladies and Sirs,

It has come to our attention that as part of your service you are
offering the Crazy Frog Sound and the Sweety Sound as ringtones on your website
and you are using the images of these characters as well.

The unlicensed use of the Crazy Frog and Sweety Sound and the images
is a clear infringement of our exclusive worldwide license rights.
We conferred with the owner/author of the Crazy frog/Sweety sound/melody
who confirmed that your use of the sound is unlicensed
and therefore in violation of the applicable copyright laws.

We demand from you to remove the Sounds and images within 4 days from the website.

We are entitled to claim from you damages,
injunctive relief and legal costs incurred as a result of your unlawful activity.
However, we would like to believe that legal proceedings will not be necessary.

Please therefore confirm by return email that sounds and images
have been removed within the stated time limit.

Please note that should you fail to provide the above information
within the required deadline we may without further notice seek an injunction protecting our rights.
We will hold you liable for our costs in this respect
and you will appreciate that these are likely to be very significant.

Sincerely,
Gudrun Schweppe
Manager Business Affairs

Tkey says:-
Done��.now stick the frog where the sun don�t shine !!!!

����������������������-

This was taken from Petition Online

To: MTV UK

“We” (The undersigned) demand that the “Crazy Frog”
mobile phone advert be removed from TV
(MTV UK & other TV networks & stations) indefinitely.
We also demand compensation for days of endless mental trauma from this horrid advert.
In addition to the removal of the “Crazy Frog” advert,
we also demand removal of all ring tone adverts from TV.

Compensation may come in one of the following.

(i) Public execution of the creator of the crazy frog.
(ii) Public execution of the person whole stole the sound sample.
(iii) A free lunch to the limit of �9.99

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

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Here here, please stop encouraging these people dont buy this tone.
If you have to have it then get it FREE Here

Yes that’s right children,it really was a funny Racing Car noise
before it was pinched and turned into a frog with a very dubious belly button.

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It is nearly 4 months since i posted this post.
So i decided to give VH1 another go
And you know what it’s got bloody worse!!!!
The ‘stupid ‘ people here are the ‘other’ advertisers who are paying their money,
but whose adverts are not being watched
because as soon as the bloody frog or whatever starts …
you can here the sounds of people pressing their remotes!!!!

I was there at the start of MTV on the telly and it was great,
you could leave the channel on all day
it was better than radio,
but now i just cannot bring myself to turn the channel on.

I think i will hibernate till this is all over, what do you think?
Keep those comments coming.

Security

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After the car was stolen , off the drive, i have stepped up security around the home.




Well Done Megan

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I had one of those really proud parent moments today.
Megan swam her first ever full length this morning.

Well done meggie moo daddy is very proud of you
xxxxxxxx

Can You Read This?

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I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,
but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
Yaeh, and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.

And you thgohut Ktae and her mteas cuoldn’t wirte poprerly,
mabye wtih a bit mroe prtcaise,tehy wuoldnt hvae too !!! 🙂