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Computer Viruses

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STAR TREK VIRUS –
Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

DISNEY VIRUS –
Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

TEENAGER VIRUS –
Your PC stops every few seconds to ask for money.

BIG BROTHER VIRUS –
Deletes your files one by one over 13 weeks until only the most annoying one remains.

MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS v 1.0 –
Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance.

COUCH POTATO VIRUS –
Just sits there, eating chips all day.

BIRTHDAY VIRUS –
Keeps advancing your clock by another year.

ALZHEIMER’S VIRUS –
It makes your computer forget where it put your files.

NIKE VIRUS – Just does it.

Attention Robert Smith ESQ

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oi rob……..this subtle enough?

your it pal !!!!

No ticky comebacks…….touch the ground ….
spin round 3 times……..white rabbits white rabbits :-p

Potc 3

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Jamie u getting excited yet……..

Jack:”did nobody come to save me just cos they missed me?”

not long to wait m8 xx

F.A. Cup 5th round draw.

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Chelsea v Blackpool or Norwich
Watford v Ipswich
Preston v Man City
Plymouth v Derby County
Man Utd v Reading
Arsenal or Bolton v Blackburn
Bristol City or Middlesbrough v West Bromwich Albion
Fulham v Tottenham

Is it just me that thinks the world has gone mad?

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ITV have sent Reporter Mark Austin down to Antarctica
to tell us all “first-hand” about the perils of global warming.

So lets get this straight……..
ITV have flown an entire TV crew 27,000 miles
to show us the damage that carbon-emitting planes
flying thousands of miles are doing to the planet !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Panic Buying

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Chaotic scenes last weekend when it was announced that a shortage of something or other available in the supermarket was going to be hyped up out of all proportion.

The big three report queues of half a mile stretching round their car parks as people get into panic buying mode. A spokesman for Tesco told us:

“It’s phenomenal. There was a rumour, believed to have been started in the Stoke on Trent area, that something was going to become in short supply and before we knew it the rumour had spread like wildfire and we’ve been overwhelmed by the demand”

We spoke to some shoppers in Asda Macclesfield and mum of three Doreen Fruitybaps told us:

“I’ve been here all day waiting to hear what it is that’s going to be scarce and when they announce what it is, then intend to stock up. I don’t want my kids to go without”

And dad, Nigel, Gnomebiscuits remarked:

“Whatever it is; I don’t want to be in a position where I run out. What sort of dad would that make me if I allowed that to happen?”

The Government has appealed for people not to hoard this item, whatever it turns out to be.

story supplied by The Spoof